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modelsforanIMPERFECTION
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Country: United States
State: Florida
Metro: Fort Myers
Birthday: 2/24/1987
Gender: Male
Interests: Jesus is so amazing, He's not just another feeling, He's real in my life every day! I attend Fort Myers Master's Commission and I love it!
Expertise: I play Guitar, Drums, Bass, Piano and I pretend to be able to sing
Occupation: Artist
Industry: Entertainment
Message: message me
Website: visit my website
AIM:  icarus22487
Yahoo:  ibz22487
Member Since:
11/27/2004
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| death(deflation and career changes)
then i found You alone with misery and pity for Your clothes
with promises of hope but You seem oh so detached
complete with matted hair stuck to Your face and slurred speech
giving widows away and thoughts of trust, dependability
they have eyes but they can not see
and i’m afraid i’m more like them than i’d admit to being
i’m fighting the sun
just how can i stand in front of unrequited love
when inside i know my iniquities…
forgiven, yet still all of me
i can hear Your voice…not mumbling but far under your breath
“I know You couldn’t take my cup, but My spirit, My Father, I lift it up”
and louder… and louder… and…
it still rings true when i remember Your voice
they have ears but they can not hear
and a game of dice is their currency
we’re not so far apart…
this love knows no name, no past, no shame
it grips and molds and rips and holds
and leaves me complete
breathing in gasps, in short moments
this pattern becomes a haven against such agony and despair
and in a desperate attempt to make all wrongs right,
to calm my storms that rage deep inside,
You speak Your last
thoughts concerning You and me and my burdern i bear
but the words spoken are separate from the ones i expected to hear
from the deserved…we’re still worlds apart…
“forgive him” and “he doesn’t know”
and…You looked at me…
with a tremor You began to sink
and in a second i knew the hope of this sick life was redeemed
and this cycle was complete, birth, life, love, death…
the next years we would follow nature, embrace it’s scent, it’s touch…it’s love
and we loved
loved without pretense, without need
and You smiled…
this wasn’t life or death, but a glimpse at the world redeemed. | | |
| life(a perfectly drawn line in the sand)
the sun and stars intertwine to create a masterpiece of pure white on illuminated blue
You walk and even the flowers tend to follow your gentle scent
but it wasn’t always this way
and it won’t always be
lost in this crowd…
i am finding You new in silence…in the dreary times…
when the bell rings
but i’m still awake and i haven’t figured out quite why…
add 1 part unfaithfulness, 1 part uncertainty
and mix
this is a travesty…or that’s what they’ll say
and that You speak in revolution and revelation
but somehow You leave me dancing to rhyme and reason…
all the while i’ve considered finding a quiet place for myself
a solace…but You won’t let me…
and retreat seems so far away from who you are inviting me to become
You speak in siren songs
with great elegance and eloquence
and a hush falls over the crowd as act 2 begins
oh, the elaborate disguises worn to tonight’s show
and Your gentle eyes seem to penetrate each directly to the marrow
yet You never condemn, never betray
just silently in a flourish of sorts, You whisk Yourself away
to a peaceful night under the stars
and even in tempests You sleep and the world feels calm
but the captains overboard and i can’t steer it on my own
i’ll gasp prayers about poor pitiful me and how incongruous my life seems to be
in the eyes of something so divine with the foresight to love me eternally
and i’ll scoff because i’ve continually created a lie
of this charade of a life filled with none but passersby…
brushing shoulders with noone and whats-his-face
not too alarmed…and so unconcerned
but even the least of these catches Your eye
and i can see that brushing shoulders is enough to speak volumes
of Your love and mercy and grace…so cliché…yet so sincerely candid
add 1 part empathy, 1 part emotion
and mix
there’s something just so tangible about this life
as if someone took the center of my heart
and placed it in the fire
and fanned so gently until it’s wrecked then refined
and in the midst revealing Your passion…seeing true life defined | | |
| variations on a theme: Birth, life, love, death.
opening night of this grand scene
and alas from the mouth where none have dared sing
we dare to voice this great and mighty chant of sorts
i find my glory in this lean-to
such an unholy structure
complete with ashen floors and straw scattered in ideal places
this place of shame is where i find my pride and my joy is defined
they will sing their songs and i will bide my time
it seems that's the only line of thought that keeps me from stepping out of line
"oh, a Saviour is born" and "glory to G-d!"
and myself in myopic pursuit, i wonder what is truly one night
spent cold
dark
alone
in this dread
i spread my cold hands out from a bowed head, across the window, this latchless, glassless, empty hole
it symbolizes You and i and everything that keeps us apart
it's deepest recess, my darkest soul
we're synonymous
oh, i could offer You this home, but it's as if i'm too good to let You in...
and i am...
would You listen to me? i'll bring these gifts, these fine thoughts, these fine gestures
and i'll catch You staring up from amongst the fog
both of us know this is so beyond me!
YOU are so beyond me!
and so i make my plea, take these gifts and just honor me
honor me for trying...
as if i could make Your love and life
some sort of game played with cards and dice
You gaze at me and i can tell, You see so much more than just Your own reflection in my eyes
You see me for what i am, an undeserving, unknowing wretch
but You're ok with that
and forgiveness pours from your every smile, every laugh
i've never known such great love...
it defines, it controls, while all the while allowing me to run free into sunlit fields of freedom and liberation
and You're so small... yet surely You know...
"this must be the Christ" and "glory to G-d"
You're not the one in the cold tonight, my Saviour, i'm afraid i play that part.
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| Do I? Do I? Do...I?
So...they say that you can save...
So surely you can increase my faith
But if you can't that's ok anyway
An uncontrolable urge to quit seems so...
typical
and the utterance of YOUR name leaves me broken...
and open
A broken and open wound in the fresh wind
and my pittance...
simply acknowledging you...being alive!
because I am not!
I am not and I will not be! I refuse!
The lions and the mice and the whole spectrum in between
with the leaves and the trees they will join in one voice
to utter
t
h
e
inutterable
and somehow I'm still mumbling about my faults
Pointed thoughts might have hammered you in
But I long ago swore I'd NEVER go there again
yet...I take you there every single day
but I won't leave you there like those hippocrites
as the tears of the father fall on the son
in one half of a moment
I find you and myself
as one
broken and hurting
a b r o k e n a n d h u r t i n g
scapegoat
but that's really just the point isn't it?
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| just putting this out there...if you're interested, me and a couple guys are starting a band and we're called The Noblest...we now have a myspace and will have music up within a week or so...it'll be great... http://www.myspace.com/thenoblest to check it out
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